We’ve told you about the creepy ways in which animals are thinking like us,
Click Here To See a Great Range Of Concord 11 Lows, organizing like us and even driving vehicles like us . but we know what you’ve been really wondering all along: Are there also disturbing ways in which their sex lives resemble ours?
The answer is yes, unfortunately. Also, you’re a pervert.
6. Spiders Give Back RubsThe back rub is a strategic tool that allows you to initiate a sexual encounter with your partner without actually having to say the words "Hey, let’s bone" (like dogs do,
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Thankfully the incidence rate of a female human devouring her lover is fairly low.
But it’s only because we’re so evolved and civilized that we’ve arrived at this ritual, right? Nope spiders do it, too. According to researchers,
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If you feel this little guy crawling up your neck, don’t worry, it just wants to fuck you.
One of the species that does this is the golden orb weaver spider,
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Like we said, the female is way bigger than the male this means he has a lot to grab on to, but it also means that if she isn’t in the mood for playing around or simply doesn’t like the way he’s doing it, she will eat him. Um, literally.
We can’t tell if he’s being eaten or if she just pooped him. Either way, ouch.
So the massages are the male spider’s way to make sure the female is as relaxed as possible before even attempting to bump uglies. Sex is dangerous business for these little dudes, but they don’t even consider not doing it because, you know . sex, you guys.
5. Birds Scare Their Mates to Get Them All Hot and BotheredThe moment scary movies started being played was the moment a teenager brought a date to the theater in the hopes of scaring the shit out of her and making out. From Frankenstein to The Human Centipede, the same basic principle holds true: If you wait until she’s all afraid and vulnerable, your chances of getting some action go up considerably. Everyone knows that,
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The latest one was just a series of audio cues on a blank screen,
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But humans aren’t the only ones that take advantage of this effect: Birds are doing the same thing. The splendid fairy wren,
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You see, when the male wren hears the call of its predator, the butcherbird (we assume the food chain order is determined exclusively by how badass their names are), they use a special call that, until recently,
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With a name like "splendid fairy wren,
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A group of investigators from the University of Chicago proved that female wrens are much more attentive to the male’s song when it comes right after the predator’s call,
Where Can i Buy Cheap Shoes Air Jordan 13 He Got Game 2013, as opposed to when there’s no danger around. It’s like yelling "FIRE" in a crowded theater and taking advantage of the fact that everyone’s paying attention to cut in and quickly say what you have to say (in this case,
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It doesn’t work,
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There’s more. The researchers also found that the age or health of the bird made no difference whatsoever: All male wrens were as likely to use the special call, even if they stood absolutely no chances against the butcherbird. According to the experts, this could mean that the wren only places the call when it knows that the butcherbird is not out hunting,
Shop For 100% Authentic Air Jordan 9 Black Photo Blue White, just strolling about. Nobody’s in any real danger, but just the fact that a predator is close presumably gets the female wrens’ blood pumping . and that’s when the male nonchalantly stretches his arm over to her seat and tries to grope some sideboob.
4. Animals Can Have Fetishes and Sex ToysThere are few things in the world that man has not, at some point,
Online Mens Shoes Air Jordan 10 Retro Chicago Bulls, managed to use for sexual pleasure but that’s only a testament to our endless creativity. It’s our inventiveness that makes us human, after all, and the long list of sometimes hilariously impractical fetishes we’ve accumulated over the ages are a prime example of that.
If that’s the case, then some animals may be more human than we think. Turns out apes and dolphins aren’t just some of the smartest species in the animal kingdom, they’re also the nastiest.
Not with each other,
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Chimpanzees are known for being pretty good at making and using tools, and it just so happens that some of those tools are for wanking. Female orangutans,
Authentic Quality Air Jordan 12 Low Retro Taxi 2011, for example, actually make their own instruments of sexual pleasure: As Petter Boeckman of the Norwegian Natural History Museum delicately put it, they "make dildos out of wood and bark."
They’re also capable of having fetishes, apparently. Take Gabriel, a chimp at the Southwest National Research Center, who has developed . According to witnesses, Gabriel masturbated "obsessively by rubbing his caretaker’s leather boot."
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