We try not to be celebrity obsessed here at Cracked; we don’t know whether aOlernKienOP
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For those of you who only knew Michael Jackson as the washed up, deformed, crazy pedophile with his own amusement park, you should know that at one time he was the most famous entertainer in the world. Not because he was nuts he wasn’t, back then but because the world thought he was goddamned amazing to watch. What we’re saying is, in spite of all the other weirdness and chaos surrounding his crazy aOlernKienOP
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Hey, speaking of voices, did you ever notice how Michael’s voice never really changed?
Here he is at about , singing like an angel sent from Jesus above. , same tenor. And here he is at age 22 . his speaking voice is almost higher.
That’s . aOlernKienOP
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It’s like listening to a mouse and Barry White try to carry on a conversation. A few years later, while Michael was putting together his world changing Off the Wall album, Donny aOlernKienOP
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Donny’s career also suffered from constant attacks by ivory poachers.
Well, one professor of vascular surgery thinks that Michael’s consistently high voice was the key to understanding everything aOlernKienOP
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It was all due to some medication aOlernKienOP
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The kind that’s been known to grow boobs on male patients.
When Michael Jackson was 12 years old, he started getting zits. Because remember, he was just a normal kid back then, and zits and occasional deodorant misfires are aOlernKienOP
Womens Cheap Doernbecher 4s what happen when you’re normal and you’re 12. What wasn’t normal, according to Alain Branchereau, was the way Michael’s entourage dealt with his face volcanoes. Branchereau’s theory is that Michael’s family or doctor or the devil in a dermatologist mask treated Michael’s acne with a hormone called cyproterone. And it’s a good thing, because look at this pepperoni pizza head someone tried to pass off as a human:
Don’t look at it directly, lest you anger the spirit that laid its curse upon it!
But the thing about cyproterone is that it is a synthetic anti male hormone a drug that knocks the man right out of you by blocking puberty itself. According to Dr. French House, the drug stopped body hair from growing and affected bone growth, leaving Michael with a boyish, narrow, hairless body. Most importantly, cyproterone kept the larynx from growing, which was why Michael’s voice never changed, why he kept singing throughout his teens without a hitch and why as a full grown man he had aOlernKienOP
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In other words, Michael Jackson was a castrato. A eunuch.
Just think for a brief second what this would mean if it were true. All that Neverland nonsense and weird aOlernKienOP
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Or convince him to become your living clone?
The point is, maybe, just maaaayyyybe all the parts about Michael Jackson that made us uncomfortable had aOlernKienOP
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4. Kurt Cobain’s Left Handed Guitar Killed Him
As the poster child of the "Musicians Who Died at 27" Club (I Love the ’90s Edition), you’re probably already familiar with Kurt Cobain’s life and legacy: He was a depressed heroin addicted guitarist who committed suicide before he could defeat his own demons. Not that anyone was surprised; as a prototypical self destructive rock star type, he was destined from birth to live fast and die young, right?
A human life is more complicated than that. And some biographers have speculated that it was one small, seemingly inconsequential decision that led Kurt Cobain down the road to heroin addiction and death. One decision, made in one moment.
And no, we’re not talking about the sweater OR Courtney Love.
Once Cobain’s heroin habit was in full swing, he went on record blaming a mysterious stomach ailment for aOlernKienOP
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"Halfway through the European tour, I remember saying I’ll never go on tour again until I have this fixed because I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to fucking blow my head off, I was so tired of it."
Which is saying a lot when your career can produce brilliant moments like this.
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But let’s go back a little further. Years before the burden of back and stomach pain drove Mr. Love to opiates, he took up the guitar. Like, literally picked it up. And the teenage Cobain had a choice to make: left handed, or right? See, Kurt could go either way aOlernKienOP
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