John Rock stepped hesitantly into the station, the light so blindingly bright it pierced even the imposing wall of his truly massive aviator sunglasses. He approached the desk and gave his name. She looked like she’d bust your balls at the station and do something else to them entirely at home. And then bust them again when she was finished.
"You’re Rock, huh?" a voice called out behind him.
"I still say this is a mistake," Rock muttered,
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"That’s right. I’m fat and he’s skinny. Classic odd couple. But through a series of extraordinary circumstances and by solving the case of our lives, we came to grudgingly respect one another."
"So you’re saying I should just get it over with and accept my new partner?" John sighed wistfully; he thought about being alone, and how best he would work that way.
"Oh good lord,
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"Different is OK," John replied warily.
"No, this isn’t ‘charmingly irreverent’ different. This is ‘he seemed so nice until the murders’ different. You ask me, you oughta watch your back with him; he threw his last partner to the wolves as soon as it became convenient," Cheesesteak orbited back around and continued to trundle fatly down the hallway.
"Internal affairs," John grunted, and spat contemptuously.
"Nope! Literal wolves. Classic zoo robbery gone wrong scenario,’" Cheesesteak finished his foreshadowing just in time to dramatically swing open the double doors to the squad room.
How many lives will be lost here?
John took in the room. It was a small,
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"John Rock,
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"Wait, your last names are seriously Goodcop and Badcop? Bullshit," Rock interrupted.
"It’s true,
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"Michael Hardplace," finished the stranger, bursting through the window on a zip line.
He somersaulted to a stop at Rock’s feet and high fived the out stretched hands that John had risen to protect himself from shards of errant glass. "So you’re my new partner,
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"Timely what?" Everybody in the room was wearing mirrored aviators,
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Are you not disconcerted,
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"Jesus, don’t they tell you anything? The TRF: We take on cases that are just thinly veiled allusions to recent headlines. You know,
Such Quality Of Cheap Air Jordan 11 Low Infrared 23, like Law and Order but slightly less gay. I meant that as in ‘lame,’ not ‘homo.’ No offense Detectives Hetero and Gaylord," Hardplace nodded in the direction of two officers one man in a somber blue three piece suit, the other in nothing but a yellow thong, a badge and a crown. They briefly returned his nod,
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"Like what?" Rock asked,
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"He really is a fantastic straight man," Sergeant Philly noted. There was a murmur of agreement throughout the room.
"Come on. I’ll show you," Hardplace pushed past him, and began gliding rapidly down the hallway. For one panicked moment,
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As they wound their way through the station proper, John noted dozens of increasingly unlikely pairs: a tribal African chieftain and an albino, a giant and a midget, a refined lady in a full evening gown and a savage grizzly in a police hat.
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