??It’s not all about You!" While this phrase is often hurled with venom,
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Over the course of my life, I have had many events that were personally "hurtful" to me, that when I was able to view them later through a different lens,
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Situations from my past that I previously "took personally" (paternal abandonment, an abusive relationship) became much easier to understand and heal once I realized that I was attributing meanings to others that were unnecessary and not there. When we believe that people are doing things "to" us,
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When people around us,
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However, this is rarely the case. In fact, most times (always?), people are taking actions to meet their OWN needs for contribution,
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It’s when we fail to see that people are simply doing things to try to meet their own needs without wrapping ourselves up in attributing meanings to a person or making assumptions that their motives are about US that we mistakenly take on too much.
And, when we are able to see these situations clearly, we are also able to identify our own feelings and needs and take care of ourselves.
Because these situations are complex, and I don’t have a ton of space in a blog post to describe all the nuances, I hope you’ll at least open your mind to the concept.
Sometimes,
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Let me give an example: My father left our family I was 13 years old. He came to where I was working that summer,
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Although his actions had an effect on our family (and on my mother much more than myself), I can look back now and know for certain that he did NOT take these actions as a deliberate attempt to try to hurt any of us.
In fact, he did things to try to help us and mitigate the influence his actions had.
Now,
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And I can also see that there are strategies many of us use including me,
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How many experiences and events in our lives could we learn to see from a different vantage point if we realized it was not "all about us"?
The theme of "Don’t take it personally" is not to suggest that you have a lack of feeling. Rather, I encourage you to put things into perspective for yourself.
This can help you to start healing, and also helps in our current relationships to be able to hold things a little more "loosely".
Following up on the theme from last month, All Experiences Bring You Something,
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I hope that our discussions will be helpful to you,
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Aurelia Flores wants to offer a learning opportunity to other women who might find themselves in similar shoes. She strongly believes women can learn from other women,
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Aurelia Flores wants to offer a learning opportunity to other women who might find themselves in similar shoes. She strongly believes women can learn from other women, no matter where they are in their career or life path.
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