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Obama meets with the America schizophrenic voices to urge less violence, a 250 pound man is sadly in the best shape of his life, and a new study finds the average American scoots over at least 10 miles per year.
Salt Lake City Hoping To Boost Tourism By Reminding Visitors They’re Free To Leave At Any Time1:11In a move designed to help the metropolitan area attract more tourists, Salt Lake City officials unveiled a new advertising campaign Thursday reminding potential visitors that air jordan 1 94 retro white black red they can leave at any time. Full article.
Onion Talks: Hypothetically It Would Be Okay To Have Sex With A Robot Dog2:58Technology expert Chris Borden explains that it would be fine to have sexual intercourse with a robot dog because it isn a real dog.
The Onion Looks Back At ‘Dirty Dancing’3:51The Onion’s movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal looks back at ‘Dirty Dancing’ in this week’s Film Standard.
Maybelline Introduces New Ideal Woman Rubber Mask To Use In Place air jordan future varsity royal varsity royal white Of Makeup1:40Touting it as their most stylish and advanced beauty product to date, officials from global cosmetics brand Maybelline unveiled Thursday the Ideal Woman Rubber Mask, a flexible facial covering that can be worn over the head in lieu of makeup. Full article.
New Kindle Helps Readers Show Off By Shouting Title Of Book Loudly And Repeatedly2:03Amazon says the Kindle Flare repetitive shouting will appeal to fans of print, who miss the ability to display a book cover to strangers.
Doctors Say Average Heart Attack Victim Doesn’t Clutch At Chest Nearly Dramatically Enough1:44According to the results of a study published Thursday by air jordan 3 iii retro white cement grey fire red the American Heart Association, most heart attack victims do not freeze up and grab at their chests with sufficient measures of theatrics when suffering a cardiac arrest. Full article.
Michael Bay Gives Fans Sneak Peek At Ninja air jordan 6 retro white midnight navy Turtles’ Hyper Realistic CGI aOlernKienOP air jordan 18 white red scoring Casey Culver on a record run Genitals2:02The super producer was at Comic Con this aOlernKienOP air jordan 12 retro taxi white black taxi One Sole Purpose to provide shoes week to show off new clips of the pulse pounding, penis heavy Turtle action.
Doctors Say Average Heart Attack Victim Doesn’t Clutch At Chest Nearly Dramatically Enough1:44According to the results of a study published Thursday by the American Heart Association, most heart attack victims do not freeze up and grab at their chests with sufficient measures of theatrics when suffering a cardiac arrest. Full article.
The Onion Reviews ‘Dawn of the Planet aOlernKienOP air jordan 20 white black red Useful Tips to Store Shoes for the Season of the Apes’3:20The Onion’s movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal reviews ‘Dawn of the Planet of the Apes’ in this week’s Film Standard.
Beard Husks On Sidewalk Indicate Start Of Hipster Molting Season1:33If you hear the telltale crunch of a hipster discarded beard under your feet, Air Jordan 15s don worry: experts say the hirsute young men are just making room to grow even larger, more ironic beards. Full article.
Nation’s Blakes Cruise Easily Through Lifeguard Tryouts1:18According aOlernKienOP air jordan 11 low concord white black concord How To Change Chrysler Sebrin to incoming reports aOlernKienOP air jordan 13 retro black altitude Shoes for AFO from beaches and pools across the country this week, lifeguard tryouts were once again a breeze for the nation Blakes. Full article.
More Office Workers Switching To Fetal Position Desks2:26Wellness experts say curling up in a aOlernKienOP air jordan 3 retro wolf grey They run for a living ball on the floor is the healthiest way to deal with the non stop agony of the workday.
New Facebook Feature air jordan force 5 black blue red Scans Profile To Pinpoint Exactly When Things Went Wrong2:37The new LifePoint function distills each user’s mistakes into one easy to find moment when their lives irrevocably took a turn for the worse.
Ohio Replaces Lethal Injection With Humane New Head Ripping Off Machine1:58Seeking a more humane method of carrying out capital punishment, Ohio new machine yanks inmates heads from their bodies using painless, powerful robotic claws.
The Onion Looks Back At ‘Saving Private Ryan’3:32The Onion’s movie critic Peter K. Rosenthal looks back at ‘Saving Private Ryan’ in this week’s Film Standard.
Survey: Most Common Deathbed Regret Never Spraying Fire Extinguisher1:57According to a survey of hospice patients released Thursday by the Princeton Medical Institute, the aOlernKienOP air jordan 4 retro military blue white shin bone Articles most common regret of the dying is never having sprayed a fire extinguisher. Full article.
The Onion’s Tips For Finding An Apartment1:00Finding an apartment that fits your style and budget can be an overwhelming process. Here are air jordan 6 rings phoenix suns The Onion’s tips for finding an apartment.
Should Obama Blow The Silver Horn The Founding Fathers Left In Case The Country Ever Needed Them?2:37The Founding Fathers promised to return upon hearing the enchanted horn, but warned it should only be used air jordan 16 xvi retro black varsity red in times of dire need.
Hurricane Ashley Expected To Strike Several Bars This Cinco De Mayo1:36The screaming whirlwind of drunkenness has been gathering strength all week and has already made a mess of herself in a number of local bars.
Kay Jewelers Recalls 2 Million Cursed Wedding Rings2:11Apologizing to customers for discomfort or searing of the flesh on their ring fingers, Kay Jewelers ordered a recall Thursday of some two million cursed wedding bands sold at its 900 aOlernKienOP air jordan 14 retro black red Getting to the Golf Course in the Right Frame locations nationwide over the past several years. Full article.
Teen Boys Losing Virginity Earlier And Earlier, Report Teen Boys1:53A shocking new aOlernKienOP air jordan xx3 motorsport black royal Over Weight and Cellulite study that asked teen boys about their sexual habits reveals that they are all having sex all the time and are really, really good air jordan 12 xii original og taxi at having it.
The Onion’s Tips For aOlernKienOP air jordan shoes 9 retro black white Online Shopping For Branded Shoes For Getting A Good Night’s Sleep1:52Being sleep deprived can tremendously impact your lifestyle on a day to day basis. Here are The Onion’s tips for getting a good night’s air jordan 11 retro low infrared 23 sleep.
George W. Bush Debuts New Paintings Of Dogs, Friends, Ghost Of Iraqi Child That Follows Him Everywhere1:41President Bush has a new hobby painting! and he showing off some new watercolors of the undead Iraqi boy who lives in his nightmares.
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